If i'm going to type out all our outing, it will take more than our 20Months to finish typing.. we really went a lot of places. some is my first time, some is your first time.. As long as it is going with you, i feel happy le. We went almost all the free museums in Singapore, took more than 200 Photos in total. idk you like it or not, but i enjoyed it.
we also went to zoo, another enjoyable day i had. even though it rains, but we still had fun taking photos in the shelter, you taking umbrella and prevent me from getting wet. i miss that.. >< you make sure we didnt get lost, make sure i'm not hungry, and prepared egg role for me..
we also went to Universal studio, i'm sorry for my phobia of height and cant accompany you for the fast and high rides. but i really enjoyed myself as long as it is with you.
we had quite a few cycle rides, the most memorable one is we cycle doubles and you ask me not to paddle and grip on the rail and you paddle so fast, like i was flying.. i enjoyed it. how i wish i can sit behind you, wind blowing at our faces, the moment that only belong to both of us..
we had our bikini day for once, getting bitten by mosquito, but you had what you wished for. hugging me in bikini, and taking photos.. (:
2 years of valentines day are also well spent, even though the first yr you only gave me a card, but the 2nd year, we had an advanced celebration by wearing caps. you said before we will have many many more celebrations together, but its gone.. )':
there's still many many outings that we went together and i'm not able to describe all my feelings, but i know one thing for sure is: i enjoy my time being with you. you'll always hold on to my hand throughout the whole journey, you'll hug and kiss me when there's chance. you'll crack jokes with me to make sure i laugh. i really thought as long as we are still so loving, as long as there is a promise there, we wont be apart. but soon, i donno izzit after you joining "happy shiny" contest, you changed. i nv stop you from joining contest, i supported you! when u need votes for facebook, i stayed up 2 days without doing my work and i sent the link one by one to my fb friends to vote for you. All i want is you're happy. i dont want you to be the last. even though ur actual contest i'm not able to be there, but trust me, i'm supporting you while working. i quarrelled with you when went for filming because i feel it wasted your time. yes, you enjoyed seeing the real filming process, but i feel angry because they treated u as free labour. they made you wait for so long for the 2 days, but your scene is only so short. you've never say you dont wanna talk to me on phone until that day after your filming. just a few minutes, but u dont wanna listen my voice, it makes me really sad. you didnt tried to console me, but u went to sleep. the next day, you also didnt text me. i become afraid le. i didnt know you actually thought of having a break.. i really dont wish to have a break. i didn't want to use death as an excuse to make you stay. i thought u would stay, but in the end, you still choose to let go.
i actually brought this break up to myself. i used "holding hands" to let you make a decision. in the end, you didnt hold my hand during USS trip. now i'm laughing at myself, why am i keep using holding hands for you to make a decision. on 30th Oct 2010, you held my hand to signal me you accept to be my boyf. On 17th July 2012 you used "dont hold my hand" to tell me this is your decision. i blamed myself for bringing this up. i HATE MYSELF.
i thought being friends with you for the time being can make you still think of me. but i was wrong. you deleted me and my friends in facebook, you dont want me to be involved in your life anymore. why are you treating me this way.. i'm feeling really terrible. pretending i'm fine to people around me, facing comments in front of relatives and friends, facing best friends being with their boyfriends and i'm left alone trying to keep myself occupied and not listening to them talking about guys. in my mind is only you you and only you. you're like water, no matter how hard i tried to hold on, you'll still flow away from me. this time, we really ended. i typed so much because today is the 2nd year we know each other. rather amazing, knowing each other only 2 years, but we had memories for 20 months.. this perhaps prove we didnt understand each other well enough before being together and cause so much quarrels and in the end a break up. i'm sorry for confessing.. but i really love the times with you. thank you for the memories, Yong Hao. (:
your smile made the difference.
--11:06 PM--
